1.    Sometimes i think of myself as broke, broken family, broke friendships, broken thoughts. I Used to think it was depression, then soon relized it was just me bring broke. My Partents are devoriced. My Friends are now in the past, and my thought are imcomplet. Im scared im going to end up like my parents, or some of my friends. its so hard to independent now. I Wish i could get a job and my own car.    They made Everything look so perfect. They where hiding all the bad stuff from me and my sister.Hiding it all behind closed door. Till they finly just cracked. my mom kicked him out and everything been going downhill. there not a day that i dont want to ball my eyes out because of it. its just so hard to deal with. now my dad has a new girlfriend and my mom mas a new boyfriend. Seems like the only person i can talk to about any of this is my Notebook. I Tell my notebook everything. she knows all my secrtes and my past and still dont judge me. Its been hard to write lately. im not sure how i feel anymore. Its kinda like iv built my own wall to block all the pain inside me.     Cigaretts are now my best friend. Alachol just fit in the picture perfecty, and weed is my new drug, insted of love. If anyone had the chance to ready my notebook they would send me away for a very long time. i used to cut, i used to cut a lot, everyday. 3 Cuts and i would be fine. Well 3 turned into 4 then 5 then 6. i did it at school a few times. at friends houses. My scared are a part of the past, i kind of grew out of it. Its been about 3 months sence i have cut. But everyday i think of going back. The only thing stopping me if my boyfriend Matthew. me and him have been dating for about 6 months and that have been the best months ever - the bullshit from my partents. Hes been by my side sence 12-20-12 he wants the best for me. i dont really get to see him much tho. we have’t seen each other about 6 times he lives about an hour away. I Think he is the love of my life. i Want to marry him. and have his children. I Love Him <3     Hes Going To Leave In The Fall For Basic Tranning, :( then hes going to come back for 10 days then he has to leave again :( im going to miss him so much. things are going to be so hard without him here for me. Im going to finish high school while hes gone and when he comes home where going to get married. I Want a beach wedding with a nice white flowy dress i already have most of it planned out. iv cut out picture of our wedding <3 i want it to be perfect i add to it everyday.

       Sometimes i think of myself as broke, broken family, broke friendships, broken thoughts. I Used to think it was depression, then soon relized it was just me bring broke. My Partents are devoriced. My Friends are now in the past, and my thought are imcomplet. Im scared im going to end up like my parents, or some of my friends. its so hard to independent now. I Wish i could get a job and my own car.

       They made Everything look so perfect. They where hiding all the bad stuff from me and my sister.Hiding it all behind closed door. Till they finly just cracked. my mom kicked him out and everything been going downhill. there not a day that i dont want to ball my eyes out because of it. its just so hard to deal with. now my dad has a new girlfriend and my mom mas a new boyfriend. Seems like the only person i can talk to about any of this is my Notebook. I Tell my notebook everything. she knows all my secrtes and my past and still dont judge me. Its been hard to write lately. im not sure how i feel anymore. Its kinda like iv built my own wall to block all the pain inside me.

        Cigaretts are now my best friend. Alachol just fit in the picture perfecty, and weed is my new drug, insted of love. If anyone had the chance to ready my notebook they would send me away for a very long time. i used to cut, i used to cut a lot, everyday. 3 Cuts and i would be fine. Well 3 turned into 4 then 5 then 6. i did it at school a few times. at friends houses. My scared are a part of the past, i kind of grew out of it. Its been about 3 months sence i have cut. But everyday i think of going back. The only thing stopping me if my boyfriend Matthew. me and him have been dating for about 6 months and that have been the best months ever - the bullshit from my partents. Hes been by my side sence 12-20-12 he wants the best for me. i dont really get to see him much tho. we have’t seen each other about 6 times he lives about an hour away. I Think he is the love of my life. i Want to marry him. and have his children. I Love Him <3

        Hes Going To Leave In The Fall For Basic Tranning, :( then hes going to come back for 10 days then he has to leave again :( im going to miss him so much. things are going to be so hard without him here for me. Im going to finish high school while hes gone and when he comes home where going to get married. I Want a beach wedding with a nice white flowy dress i already have most of it planned out. iv cut out picture of our wedding <3 i want it to be perfect i add to it everyday.

    1 month ago  /  0 notes

  2. Matthew James Sondag <3 i love you so much hunny you mean the world to me. i wish that i was with you. no matter how hard i try, i always get sad when i think about you, because i’m not able to talk to you or see you. I’m not very happy with your sister at the moment. i hope that you being grounded for a month with no phone effect our relationship :( i will cry for YEARS!

    1 month ago  /  0 notes

  3. Matthew James Sondag, i love you so much hunny. you mean the world to me and i will do anything for you. i want to marry you and kiss you everyday. prom was amazing with you &lt;3 falling asleep holding hand and waking up holding hands put me on cloud 9. i just wish i could hold you in my arms and hug you tightly. one day, i hope soon, we will be with each other again, When your gone thoes will be the sadist 4 years of my life, but i promise to stay faithful and always write back to you. i hope these last few months we have with each other will be amazing. we have been dating for About 6 months 12-20-12 &lt;3 i just wanna me with you every second of ever muinet of every hour, and every hour of the day. You, my future hubby, i will love you till the end, till we are really old and fart in our sleep. and play jokes oh each other. like you putting my bra in the frezzer and be unpluging the vacum as you try and use it. :P i will never forget the day we started talking &lt;3 i asked you if you thought i was cute and you said &#8220;idk&#8221; and i told you to look at my pictures, and you did and you said i was sexy, then sexy became preety, and preety became beautiful &lt;3. Babe I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

    Matthew James Sondag, i love you so much hunny. you mean the world to me and i will do anything for you. i want to marry you and kiss you everyday. prom was amazing with you <3 falling asleep holding hand and waking up holding hands put me on cloud 9. i just wish i could hold you in my arms and hug you tightly. one day, i hope soon, we will be with each other again, When your gone thoes will be the sadist 4 years of my life, but i promise to stay faithful and always write back to you. i hope these last few months we have with each other will be amazing. we have been dating for About 6 months 12-20-12 <3 i just wanna me with you every second of ever muinet of every hour, and every hour of the day. You, my future hubby, i will love you till the end, till we are really old and fart in our sleep. and play jokes oh each other. like you putting my bra in the frezzer and be unpluging the vacum as you try and use it. :P i will never forget the day we started talking <3 i asked you if you thought i was cute and you said “idk” and i told you to look at my pictures, and you did and you said i was sexy, then sexy became preety, and preety became beautiful <3. Babe I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

    1 month ago  /  0 notes

  4. Im Waitting Here, For you told come alone and pick me up and hold me tight, i miss you more then words can ever explain.

    Im Waitting Here, For you told come alone and pick me up and hold me tight, i miss you more then words can ever explain.

    2 months ago  /  0 notes

  5. Wrong guy, Right words!?

    Maybe one day you will relize what you did, and what you gave up. Now im with this guy who treats me right, and dosen’t fuck my bestfriend behind my back. he told me he loved me and ik he dose. unlike who you told me a lie. well i guess thats just becasue you that kinda guy. i kinda wish you would just die. you did nothing but lie. you lied all the time. and i feel for thoes lies. but im so happy your outa my life .

    2 months ago  /  0 notes

  6. Im Sorry, For Being So Broken →

    4 months ago  /  0 notes

  7. Just Cuz We Where Given Something So Breakablu, Dosent Mean You Should Let Ever Guy Break It &lt;3

    Just Cuz We Where Given Something So Breakablu, Dosent Mean You Should Let Ever Guy Break It <3

    4 months ago  /  0 notes

  8. Live,Laugh,Love &lt;3

    Live,Laugh,Love <3

    4 months ago  /  0 notes

  9. 8 months ago  /  61 notes  /  Source: youtoldmeoncethatyouwerentahero

  10. Him <3

    I Love you so much you are my eveything. you are the main reason i wake up every morning with a smile on my face. you brought me up when i was down. i hope we grown old togehter, wrinkles and everything. i will love you no matter what. your gunna leave soon to get away from eveything. i hope we can make things work. your gunna be 2 hours away from me . i will miss your hugs and kisses. no matter how hard i try the thought of you leaveing always makes me cry. i dont know what i will do without you. i really hope things will be okay, like you say.

    8 months ago  /  0 notes